The Old Tracks

As I walked it in my youth, that rocky old road
They were already gone then, run down, desolate
They had always been, abandoned for years
Overgrown with sumac and ivy,
All metal pulled out for scrap,
The wooden ties long gone for other things.

Yet I still shook with the thunder of their passing
Could still hear the roar of the engines
Feel the heat of the steam
In summer, grandfather would send me along them
Fetching cows from the back pastures,
Forgotten tools from the leaning barn

It was a long walk for a child my age
But the joy of adventure was worth every step
I travelled to far off places, imagination unbound
Lost in fantasy and wonder, joyous moments of time
That simple place, bringing such depth to my life
If only I could add it to my life now

But the memories I hold, tight in my soul
Shooting apples from the trees with my homemade bow
Chasing snakes in the gullies, to hear grandma squeal
There is a music to the past, a sweetest tone, perfect pitch
Even though I missed it then, I hear it clearly now

We lost the farm when grandfather died, dark shadow in my mind
And I, distracted by other things, path bent to travel other roads
Lost the magic of that youthful place, perhaps a piece of me died
Never again, through all I’ve achieved, nere to the adventure I had
Simply walking the ghost, of those old railroad tracks

Living in the mind of a child….

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre July 22nd, 2008

My Special Friend

My special friend is a friend who shares.
The one who listens, the one who cares
Always quick to lend a hand
To ease a hurt, to understand

My special friend is a glorious blending
Of loyalty and cheer, faith, love, and trust
With kindness too, in great abundance
In short, my special friend is you!

And I hope, I’m yours…….

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre January 13th, 2008

My Shadow

Passing through years of time, making me who I am now
Each wrinkle and scar a testimony of life well lived
Time wroth furrows mapping each bend in the path
Life’s blood runs now slow in these old veins
Once golden hair now awash in the white of snow
Yet I still hold to life as death touches cold against my cheek

I find myself in this old picture, young and strong
Not finding what I am, but what I was
Mirror leaving no doubt, not else to believe
Yet though I’ve altered, much remains the same
As I was drawn, I still retain that which I am
Complexion and stand, here I still find me

It is my face staring back, my friendly smile
My never empty well of love, still seen in reflective eye
Here I find, my care and compassion still live
With abundant enthusiasm, the zeal of a youth
Denial perhaps, of ruddy lip, or hair of less youthful dye
So as I behold the frail old man I’ve become
I find my shadow less changed than I thought…..

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre December 23rd, 2007

Grief

All night the clock ticked, and outside a moon like day,
And I, in the ravages of sleep, head on a stranger’s breast,
Shed tears, like a task not to be put away….
In the false moon light, overwhelming grief in my happy bed,
An ocean of tears, set to undo joy’s rebirth.
I would not wake at your word, I had only tears to say.
I clung to the dream and they were my soul,
And let pain’s derisive hand had give me rest
From the night of living flame, and the darkness within.

We do not get over grief.
But over time, we do learn to live with the loss.
We learn to live a different life…with our loss.

Steve ’Easy’ Whitacre November, 2005

Grandmother

Reach down and remind me every time I wake
Help me to remember all that is sacred
From the tiniest leaf to the tallest of trees
From the little ant to the thundering great herds
They are all sacred

Help me remember each and every blessing
To always offer my deepest gratitude
To each that has touched my life and each life I touch
Whether physically or in spirit
They are all sacred

I stand on mother earth and become one with all
We are…

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre January 8th, 2006

Stuck Outside

It’s time again, time to come down
I am perched on the ledge, deep bottomless depths
Inside myself, I know what I should do, need to do
But I can’t, too afraid to face that edge, fear of that fall
The mirror shows me starkness, honest to eyes
Lost, wasted, faded shell of what I was
Vast disappointment in the person I see
How can I admit this person is me

Shame burns, long set aside
Excuses I’ve used to keep my heart alive
Ever turning my back, trying to hide
False front of innocence, take care the important things
Years of nothing but neglect, drown the pain away
But how can I run from the pain of regret

And to what end?

The need of distraction, to cover up the pain
Selfish center of me, blocking any in my way
Unsteady feet dragging through the day
Stupid maybe, I know it for what it is
But it’s been so long since I stood tall
I don’t remember how to begin
I’ve given away all I had, and all I hoped to be
Am I proud of this life, this morass of highs
I feel as if barely alive

I wanted to fit in, to hold to a part
Chased happiness down a path too easy
Now addicted forever, to the easy escape.
Trying to live in a world that is fake
Holding onto a glass, that must someday brake
Waiting for the day you fix it for me…..

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre December 2nd, 2007

Simple Web

I have learned in my travels of the great web of life
The entirety of existence, connected to all the other parts
Intricate filigree of interactive pieces creating a reality we all share
I know now of the importance of each to the support of all

Nothing you do, whether good or bad, does not impact the whole
A helping hand, given to one in need, spreading out for generations to come
Spreading the unselfish love of this simple gift
Learn that a frown or disdain, given in resentment or greed
Will spread the darkness and anger, weakening the all
Strike your brother and find the blow falling on many others
Look within and feel that blow striking you

Waste these gifts life provides, and find the hunger growing around you
Cherish them and watch the bounty and love spread
Allow your ego to rule, ever seeking control and power
And find yourself alone, lost, forever empty, in need

A uncomplicated thing perhaps, this choice that we have
To hold to the love we all want, or let the darkness win
For me it is plain, I stride forward each day
I make my smile a beacon, my hand open to all
And I pray you will join me, to walk at my side
Ever holding to love, the mystery, and life

Sharing this journey, through the great web of life…

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre November 12th, 2007