While talking to a friend today, the conversation turned to just how hard it is to live with some of the memories we have. We weren’t talking about all of the good memories of course. Not the memories of your first kiss, your first crush, your first time, remembering your first bike, the one you bought after saving forever, coming in 5 boxes and a bare frame, which after months and months of hand assembly fired and came to life. The first smile of your child as they discovered some wonderful new thing for the first time, or their face as they woke you at 4 a.m. “just because they lubed and mussed you”.
We were talking about the memories of traumatic episodes in our lives, the violent loss of loved ones, betrayal, conflict, or even the clanging crash of metal and squealing tires that announced the end of that new acquaintance, soon to be friend’s short life. The buddy that you just had breakfast with while he bragged for the six thousandth time about the girl waiting for him back home, going suddenly silent, and the feeling of what had been him now splattered all over your back. Or, perhaps the long agonizing weeks spent helping a friend make peace and pass on to the next journey. Trying help them find peace and to free him or her from their fear, regrets, and that seemingly never-ending impression they have of “things undone”.
How, if somehow we could have managed not to remember these events, how much easier life would be now? Without the nightmares, without the years of pain, without the long years of heartache and night terror, wouldn’t life be so much better than it is with them? Of course just talking about these brought them right up to the front of our minds, and with them a reliving of the pain and anguish of those times.
But that “wishing for peace and memory loss” is a mistake. For without living through the pain and suffering times, how else would we know just how good the good times really are? A look at what the bad times have done for us. Each trial we go through makes us stronger and wiser. They teach us to be more understanding and caring for our loved ones. We learn not to take for granted what we have today, for tomorrow is never set. If we’re smart, we learn that most of the daily ‘problems’ that pop up in our lives aren’t near as important as we might think. To become more focus on the ‘really’ important things in life, and to take the time to make the most of every minute we have.
And maybe most importantly, we are now what our experiences have made us. What would life be without both the agony and joy of living? And to truly live, you have to have both.
Take a moment to re-evaluate your self. Decide whether the withering conflict over petty differences or views, are really worth the price it will take from your life. We’re all here for a short time…
Peace and Love,