Apologies

What would you have me be?
I offer sincere apologies for all I lack
This path I walk locked in through my life
What would you have me say?
I offer all apologies for my misunderstanding
Unawareness caught up in ego and self
What else would you have me write?
Truths springing from thought and care
I offer all apologies for I don’t have the right
What would you have me be?
All I have are these apologies

Walking out into this sun lit day
Would but to feed my soul on the wonders of the universe
Warm of the light, inspiring, allowing me to create
In this sun, this light, love and care filling this journey
And with you, together, one, union
Yet happiness eludes
Why?

I would wish to be more like you
So easily amused, dancing my way through each day
Love filled moments leading to laughter and joy
Within me I find my nest of blame, everything is my fault
Choices I made causing pain to those I love
Essence of who I am leaving no real choice at all
I take on all the dark, all the pain, burning in shame
Freezing in the sun, choking on the ashes of mistake
Alone is all I am
All I manage to be
Why?

What would you have me be?
All I have are these apologies…

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre August 11, 2009

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To Carry On

This new day
I awoke and I knew
You were really gone
Drab new day, no new way,
Eyes blinded to see the dawn.
You gone your own way, I left to go mine
How do I now carry on?

The clear sky above, stars filling the night
Will I ever have cried enough?
How will the sun ever shine again?
This empty darkness hast come into my world
I need rejoice, what other choice?
I must carry on

Fables and visions of loves now long gone
Memories of us together, singing our songs of love
All bear witness to the quickness of the end
These petty differences that drove us apart
How did we allow so little to become so much
I now sing not but the blues, dues we paid lost to the past
Tell me how do I carry on

Where are you gone now my love?
Where gone our happiness, our tomorrows?
Do you too think of the bliss we could have had?
Do you too live now with the sorrow of what we lost?
Questions of a thousand dreams, plans of tomorrow
What do you now see?
Lover, can you not walk again with me?

Again on my own, empty heart yearning once more
I would chase you down, yet what was it made you run?
I try my best just to get around, move on with my life
Still the questions of a thousand dreams
What do you now see?
Lover, can you not walk again with me?

Can you not walk again with me?…

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre August 9, 2009