Light Workers

You will find as you move through life that the ones with the lowest self-esteem are the healers and givers, “light workers” sharing the most of themselves with those in the direst need did you know that? These are the ones with the gifts, walking in true balance, closest to the Great Creator.
And they continue to do this even though they may well be in the greatest pain and need themselves. Why you might ask?
Because they must, for it is a true part of the core of their being, and their heart demands it to be so.

Users and Abusers

Exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination. Exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination.

How to defend yourself?

How do people allow themselves to be used? It is easy to see it in another person’s life but not so with ourselves. When we see an emotionally abused person we think to ourselves that, “I would never let that happen to me because I am a strong individual” or we say that the person must have a very low self-esteem.

The problem is, at the beginning of a new relationship, the manipulation is subliminal. If they are good at it then it won’t be noticed until long after a pattern in ingrained in the relationship.

The three main profiles of an exploiter

The Love Bomber
The Helpless One
The Equivocator

The exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination. Pin It an exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination.

How to defend yourself?

How do people allow themselves to be used? It is easy to see it in another person’s life but not so with ourselves. When we see an emotionally abused person we think to ourselves that, “I would never let that happen to me because I am a strong individual” or we say that the person must have a very low self-esteem.

The problem is, at the beginning of a new relationship, the manipulation is subliminal. If they are good at it then it won’t be noticed until long after a pattern in ingrained in the relationship.

The three profiles of an exploiter

The Love Bomber
The Helpless One
The Equivocator

Defending oneself against being taken advantage of the three tactics used in tandem might seem too hard to do but establishing a protective fence for self-preservation is easier than becoming depressed and disabled from such emotional abuse.

The exploiter will adroitly transform themselves like a shape-shifter when ever a victim becomes aware of being manipulated. These changes can happen so quickly it is as if trying to hold on to a wiggling slippery eel when you are close to becoming aware of their false nature.

Exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination. Pin It Exploitive hypocrite that skilfully twists words, dodges and evades coupled with character assassination.

The three profiles of an exploiter

The Love Bomber
The Helpless One
The Equivocator

Defending oneself against being taken advantage of the three tactics used in tandem might seem too hard to do but establishing a protective fence for self-preservation is easier than becoming depressed and disabled from such emotional abuse.

The exploiter will adroitly transform themselves like a shape-shifter when ever a victim becomes aware of being manipulated. These changes can happen so quickly it is as if trying to hold on to a wiggling slippery eel when you are close to becoming aware of their false nature.

THE LOVE BOMBER

The Love Bomber is the love fraud. Like a broken record from a cheesy Spanish love song, there is no depth in conversation other than, “I love you, I want you, I need you.” An endless refrain of platitudes and the feeling of being put on a pedestal from this sweet talker is a set-up for the eventual hard fall. When you are all used up, with no money, no housing and no support system to get yourself back up, that person will then totally and completely abandon you with no more remorse than if discarding a used toilet paper.

Buttering you up doesn’t have to be romantic. By mirroring your own hopes and desires, the exploiter will agree with everything you say. When pressed and asked what do they think of a situation, the exploiter retreats into a feigned humbleness that is the deflection not to have the true self revealed. You will be told that you are, smart,talented, successful, humorous, courageous, imaginative, inquisitive,confident and just altogether different than anybody they have ever met before.

Playing the servant, pretending to be working hard only for you without any thought of themselves, appearing humbly submissive and the martyr, these are the slick and surreptitious ways to deflect any criticism against themselves. A passive aggressive person will say yes to your face, but have no intention of keeping a promise. If called on the the carpet for repeated failure to follow through on promises, they play dumb, act hurt and vilify you for being so harsh and ruthless.

The User will then shame you for questioning the high moral standards that they claim to posses, then divert the topic in question by throwing in a Red Herring into the mix, pushing your buttons to forget the original problem. If you are finally able to nail jelly up against the tree, then minimization of their own bad behaviour will occur.

This is when the double standard begins to appear. They allow themselves mistakes and being human, but if you are questioning the person or express any displeasure at their supposed self sacrifice they have suffered “only for you” – then you will be vilified and raked over the coals repeatedly, often months afterwards the original ‘sin’ that you ‘committed’.

How can a manipulator be able to twist you around their little finger so adeptly? It’s because they know you better than you know yourself.Lack of self-knowledge is a weakness. Exploiters love co-dependents.There is nothing wrong with being co-dependent if the other is just as co-dependent as yourself. But a Exploiter will seek out like a heat missile, people who want to feel good about themselves by helping other unfortunates. So now we come up to to the next profile, ‘The Victim’.

THE VICTIM

This is the person who makes other people feel sorry for them, and involves anybody near with their own problems. The drama queen whose life’s situation is not any fault of their own but from some outside source. Hopelessly irresponsible, they don’t want a hand up but a handout. Even a drowning person will reach a hand up for somebody to pull them out, but not these people. As if in a quagmire of quicksand, they quickly pull in whatever help is extended to them down into their own demise. If you call them out about how how the person is not making any effort to help themselves they use emotional blackmail to camouflage the zero respect that they have for your own personal space. They don’t respect your ‘no’ for an answer.

It has has a phrase for this, it’s called “hitting bottom’, retreating help and enabling forces the person to take stock of themselves through tough love. It is most difficult for family members to contend with the myriad of game playing from an recovering addict. It hurts because a person wants to help a distressed person but if do, only prolong the agony of recovery. Users enjoy codependents’ need to feel needed and exploit this desire through shaming, passive hostility and subtle intimidation. These people feel that their toxic coping mechanisms individuals are justified for survival.

Shrewd, skilful and deliberate, once a con’s ploy is exposed, the victim will feel distaste within themselves to be allowed to be so duped and won’t report it. Feeling self doubt in their own awareness of people’s intentions, the aftermath of such a cruel betrayal leaves a person less self assured in their own judgement of reality .Taking advantage of gullible people is an art form. For an example then listen to Dante’s Inferno description of the innermost circle of Hell in this excerpt.

THE LIAR

This is the hardest part to deal with because with every lie there is a grain of truth, and with every true statement there is a lie. Remember the adage, “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Overtime they will be caught in their own web of lies. Listen to you own inner voice, don’t be their puppet. Think logically, as Judge Judy says, “If it don’t make sense then it’s a lie.”

Manipulative tactics in a nutshell

Denial
Selective Inattention
Rationalization
Diversion
Lying, equivocation
veiled Threats
Playing the innocent victim
Vilifying the codependent
Seduction
Minimization

Ways to eliminate manipulation in your relationships

List a inventory of the manipulative behaviour.
Stay alert
Stop responding to ‘crazy-making’, ignore them
Don’t tolerate overstepping of boundaries

Do, ask yourself, are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Life and Friends

Everyone will go through some very hard times at some point. Life just isn’t easy. For something to think about, did you ever think as how the people who are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you notice the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get used and mistreated? Do you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Do you know the three hardest things to say are I love you, I’m sorry, and Help me.

Sometimes a person may look happy, but you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now, Let’s start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to gift a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know we all truly care. Do it for all of us, just do it, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this everywhere on the web, if nothing else just for moral support for those in need.

How The World Was Made

from Cherokee Indian lore

The earth is a great island floating in a sea of water, and suspended at each of the four cardinal points by a cord hanging down from the sky vault, which is of solid rock. When the world grows old and worn out, the people will die and the cords will break and let the earth sink down into the ocean, and all will be water again. The Indians are afraid of this.

When all was water, the animals were above in Galunlati, beyond the arch; bur it was very much crowded, and they were wanting more room. They wondered what was below the water, and at last Tunisia “Beaver’s Grandchild,” the little Water-beetle, offered to go and see if it could learn. It darted in every direction over the surface of the water, bur could find no firm place to rest. Then it dived to the bottom and came Up with some soft mud, which began to grow and spread on every side until it became the island which we call the earth. It was afterwards fastened to the sky with four cords, but no one remembers who did this.

At first the earth was flat and very soft and wet. The animals were anxious to get down, and sent out different birds to see if it was yet dry, but they found no place to alight and came back again to Galunlati. At last it seemed to be time,
and they sent out the Buzzard and told him to go and make ready for them. This was the Great Buzzard, the father of all the buzzards we see now. He flew all over the earth, low down near the ground, and it was still soft. When he reached the Cherokee country, he was very tired, and his wings began to flap and strike the ground, and wherever they struck the earth there was a valley, and where they turned up again there was a mountain. When the animals above saw this, they were afraid that the whole world would be mountains, so they called him back, but the Cherokee country remains full of mountains to this day

When the earth was dry and the animals came down, it was still dark, so they got the Sun and set it in a track to go every day across the island from east to west, just overhead. It was too hot this way and Agility, the Red Crayfish, had his shell scorched a bright red, so that his meat was spoiled; and the Cherokee do nor eat it. The conjurers put the sun another hand breadth higher in the air, but it was still too hot. They raised it another time, and another, until it was seven hand breadths high and just under the sky arch. Then it was right, and they left it so. That is why the conjurers call the highest place Imagined Mindbogglingly, “the seventh height,” because it is seven hand-breadths above this arch, and returns at night on the upper side to the starting place.

There is another world under this, and it is like ours in everything, animals, plants, and people, save that the seasons are different. The streams that come down from the mountains are the trails by which we reach this underworld, and the springs at their heads are the doorways by which we enter it, but to do this one must fast and go to water and have one of the underground people for a guide. We know that the seasons in the underworld are different from ours, because the water in the springs is always warmer in winter and cooler in summer than the outer air. When the animals and plants were first made, we do not know by whom, they were told to watch and keep awake for seven nights, just as young men now fast and keep awake when they pray to their medicine. They tried to do this, and nearly all were awake through the first night, but the next night several dropped off to sleep, and the third night others were asleep, and then others, until, on the seventh night, of all the animals only the owl, the panther, and one or two more were still awake. To these were given the power to see and go about in the dark and to make prey of the birds and animals which must sleep at night. Of the trees only the cedar, the pine, the spruce, the holly, and the laurel were awake to the end, and to them it was given to be always green and to be greatest for medicine, but to the others it was said: “Because you have not endured to the end you shall lose your hair every winter.”

Men came after the animals and plants. At first there were only a brother and sister until he struck her with a fish and told her to multiply, and so it was. In seven days a child was born to her, and thereafter every seven days another, and they increased very fast until there was danger that the world could not keep them. Then it was made that a woman should have only one child in a year, and it has been so ever since.