My Pain Within

By myself I walk this path,
And I cannot ask but still I wish,
I need so little just joys and hope,
Dreams to hold an impassioned love,
Reaching right out in most loving care,
I will give and give by bringing you laughs,
In seeing your pain I’m driven to rush to aid,
Yet I hide these truths behind these my smiles,
Knowing the jokes hide an agonizing by the pain,
Many of you I’m fooling to think you might know me,
But you never will for this is only my life of lies on lies,

-easy

I am not focusing on an inner pain brought from doubt, heartbreak, or despair with this writing, but rather from an overwhelming physical pain, a pain I use deep meditation constantly in order to ‘keep it from winning.’ I was crushed from just above the waist down back in 1999 the result of which left me in a wheel chair with many physical challenges, and an existence truly racked with chronic pain. Because of who I am I fight daily to hide the truth of this pain from others, not a ‘pride thing at all, but my need to not allow my pain to impact other endangering their own peace. I must if I am to be true to my own innate sense of being. All I have to deal with this problem is a deep level of meditation, a depth I must maintain around the clock, even in sleep. Now, nearing the end of this path, I share the truth in the hope that others dealing with their own such difficulties with find some solace in the knowledge that there are others that truly understand the battle they face each day, and my heartfelt hope the my example can give them the inspiration to win-out over their own massive battle in a way that bring peace and happiness back into their lives. I would say to the “You can be happy, you can live a wonderful love filled existence by making each day the most positive you can, by embracing every little joy you can, focusing only on the best, and allowing the pain to fade into the background. Creation gave us the tools to manage any challenge if only we rediscover them within ourselves, rediscover by making peace with ourselves, learning to trust in ourselves, and know the can make our lives exactly as we want them to be. I would share strength and care with you all, freely and with love…
Namaste,  -easy

PainAndLoss

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