Smoke and Wine

This mind numbing Calliope of silence,
Echoing shadows dancing across my world,
Unanswered questions no longer seeking light,
Is this it, all that is left to me, the end of my dreams,
Optimistically turning from the gloomy trend,
I take another drink, light anther fag,
And dose with a sheepish smile…

easy…

Smoke and Wine
Smoke and Wine

Surrender

Do any of us remember thinking this way? This can and will change now. By taking an honest open look inside ourselves we can really begin to know the lies of our alcoholism or addiction, lies it keeps telling us to keep its self fed. You need to know that alcoholism and addiction are a disease, a curse that we are all damned with. Like it or not we are stuck with it for the rest of our lives, and for the rest of our lives we will have to battle it, never to stop the hard work, never giving up, even if we slip back into its clutches at times, we must fight for ourselves to get right back on track for the benefit of our very lives.. All of which will allow us to live the free, love filled life we all deserve.

   We are not going to give up and let our alcoholism or addiction take our life away from us, never! We commit ourselves to fighting the hard fight and winning out over our disease. We say to ourselves “I will not let it win, because my family, friends and loved ones, and all the people I may meet along the way will know that I deserve to have the best life I can. And I will!” 

  Find a good A.A or N.A meeting in you area today, and start making it your highest priority to go to the meetings and participate as much as you possibly can. Find the best sponsor you can, and work as hard as you can with them to start your journey to building you new life. This all is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your loved ones. I will be proud to know you in your new clean and sober life.

‘Easy’ (Steve Whitacre)
Wednesday July 2, 2014

Crack

Fallen from joy, the very height of serenity gone

This never-ending nightmare of addictive obsession

Starving for my life, so long now lost

Supping on the tit of back-alley fruits

Ever riding the razor edged brink of this purple darkness

The inexhaustible hunger never dulls, never wanes

Constantly rending and tearing at my soul

Riding this fevered dream wroth beast

Licentious temptation, the siren’s call of old

Death dealing apathy consumes the gray…….

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre December 19th, 2007

Has To End

So tired, tired of the mess, of the lies, the pain
Tired of sharing this, your never-ending nightmare
But I’m in so deep, have so must invest
How can I escape, do I dare?

This all started, long before me
Twenty-six years gone now
And even back then, I thought as your friend
I could help overcome it somehow

But now my eyes clear
I see you but used me, your crutch for whatsoever
I provide what you need, rescue, support, and cash
My biggest fault, I loved you forever

And I fell right in to line, willing and able
Giving everything I had just for you
I picked up the needles, cleaned broken bottles
And made it all seem like anew

I can’t do it no more, too long already
And I can’t hide it from our kids anymore
I guess the time come, for you to take over
And decide if you want this or more

You can go on, living as you are
Surviving on dope, booze, and shit
But I deserve better, have earned it I think
I’ve waited long enough for you to get it

I wish you the best, for whatever life left
And hope the happiness you search for is found
For when the cops come again, and you rest in your cell
I imagine your wonder astound

When you call for your bail
As before always done
Will it be the first time you notice
For the truth of the matter, there’s no-one to answer

For you see dear, today I am gone….

Steve ‘Easy’ Whitacre December 3rd, 2007