Memories flood, heart bleeds,
So much loss, destiny at an end,
She was such beauty, soul shining,
Now gone still, my very life with her,
This waste of glory, caste away rubbish,
How do I hope to recover, my failure too great,
My perfection of partner, my very core of being,
They’ve taken her away, I left empty. All now alone,
I so need her, want her, make our love as once was,
But she’s gone…




I held her as a life fulfilled,
I knew her as the all I ever needed,
I want her so, I’m lost with her absence,
I reach for her, finding only empty spaces,
I called for her hearing only echoing silence,
I dream of her finding only lost lonely memories,
Come back my love, return for my loving arms to hold,
Come embrace me once again, share this my unending love,
Come refill this emptiness That burns in my heart of hearts,
Come change this shadowed life back to the light of the joyous,
Return to me, break free of your deadly end, return my very world,




Here I sit again still looking out this same dark window,
Trapped in this room by an illness that won’t set me free,
I look out at the rain feeling blue with sadness for all that was,
All that was never to be again, frustration, anger, hating the pain,
Long endless empty days alone, nothing to share but this agony,
Envy of all those who have moved on while I am stopped here,
Alone since that nightmare of days seeming long ago now,
A quiet knock at the door, an old friend surprises,
You come in asking “How are you this fine day?”
Planting a smile on my face answering “Great!”
Pulling strength from empty well, smile,
Til you go, then complete collapse,
Waiting yet one more time again,
For my earned trip home,
I beg it comes soon,



Find Peace

Empty yourself completely,
Embrace the perfection of peace,
The world will rise and life moves,
And then you can watch it return to rest,
The dance and growth of all the flourishing things,
And you watch their calm return to their common source,

Their return is peaceful,
Creation in the flow of nature,
Creation’s flow of eternal decay and renewal.
In your acceptance of this you find enlightenment,
In ignoring of these common truths will bring misery.

All who accepts nature’s flow become all-cherishing,
And in being all-cherishing they become impartial and just,

Being impartial they become magnanimous,
In their being magnanimous they become natural,
Being their being natural they become one with the Way,
And in their being one with the Way they become immortal,
Thereafter though their body will decay, the Way will not,



With love,
My dear friend,
Listen to me as I beg,
Simple words perhaps, but truth,
You are the strongest most loving soul I know,
So much you give, so much yet for you to be sharing,
Hold on tight to all of the loving blessings filling your life,
This tiniest of moment, the miracle within that tiny life holding you,
Know in you heart that your coming future will be wondrously sublime,
I know the deep emptiness within you from his sudden tragic absence,
He is crying to be from with you, but he’s crying more for your pain,
He needs to see your suffering end, needs your happiness returned,
As does that most special little soul resting close at your side,
Gather yourself up, embracing the beauty of being again,
Re-embrace the charms abundant encompassing you,
Feel his loving arms still holding you so close,
The passion never lost, for he travels as yet,
There are no ends, only changes of being,
Put trust in yourself, trust in him,
You are one in spirit’s bond,
Embrace the love of life,
Allow yourself to heal,
Allow yourself to be,
Once again whole,
Be you, Be…



This most heart stopping daze, can’t be real,
Desperately looking for her, this emptiness,
Nothing left but pain, world morpheme loss,

I reach out to hold, finding only destitute air,
How can this be truth, I must have you close,
Where are you love, without you I am so lost,

I sit with tears flowing, empty void in my bed,
I pray this nightmare be over, silence returned,
Screaming out for you, only echoing emptiness,


The never-ending questions. “Why now,’ “What did I do wrong that caused this,” “How can I ever go on alone,” “My faith is ended, how could I ever again give thanks,” “What could I have done to change this,” The doubts never seem to end. But over time, with acceptance and understanding peace will return. The pain and suffering never really end, yet we will learn to live a new life, even happiness will return with time. Know that many of us suffer just as you are. The painting I called “Pain & Loss” done right after I lost a dear friend.


She’s Gone

Just yesterday, we danced in the sand,
Today I awake to find you gone, I’m alone,
I walked out this morning, and I wrote down this poem,
I just have to remember, the joyous time with you,
The sunny days without end, wonders fill our lives,
All I thought would last, how can it now end,

Through the lonely times, you were there,
When I could not find a friend, you stepped in,
I need to see you one more time, just to see you again,
Look down upon me Jesus, help me this dark day,
How can I get through another day, I’m alone,

My body aching in pain, would that I join you,
Passionate are the memories, when our love bloomed,
Once danced in the sun, now hide in the darkest shadows,
Dreaming of a time of happiness, I hold you close,
I can’t finish this journey without you, alone…

easy 12/25/14