She’s Gone

Just yesterday, we danced in the sand,
Today I awake to find you gone, I’m alone,
I walked out this morning, and I wrote down this poem,
I just have to remember, the joyous time with you,
The sunny days without end, wonders fill our lives,
All I thought would last, how can it now end,

Through the lonely times, you were there,
When I could not find a friend, you stepped in,
I need to see you one more time, just to see you again,
Look down upon me Jesus, help me this dark day,
How can I get through another day, I’m alone,

My body aching in pain, would that I join you,
Passionate are the memories, when our love bloomed,
Once danced in the sun, now hide in the darkest shadows,
Dreaming of a time of happiness, I hold you close,
I can’t finish this journey without you, alone…

easy 12/25/14

Gone

This most heart stopping daze, can’t be real,
Desperately looking for her, this emptiness,
Nothing left but pain, world morpheme loss,

I reach out to hold, finding only destitute air,
How can this be truth, I must have you close,
Where are you love, without you I am so lost,

I sit with tears flowing, empty void in my bed,
I pray this nightmare be over, silence returned,
Screaming out for you, only echoing emptiness,

easy…

The never-ending questions. “Why now,’ “What did I do wrong that caused this,” “How can I ever go on alone,” “My faith is ended, how could I ever again give thanks,” “What could I have done to change this,” The doubts never seem to end. But over time, with acceptance and understanding peace will return. The pain and suffering never really end, yet we will learn to live a new life, even happiness will return with time. Know that many of us suffer just as you are. The painting I called “Pain & Loss” done right after I lost a dear friend.

PainAndLoss

Gentle Reminders

Overwhelmed by my grief,
A friend reaches out in understanding,
Reminds me though we do not get over grief,
We can learn to live a new life, a life with our grief
We can rebuild our lives to include happiness and love,
And we will, if nothing else than for the ones we have lost,
Because we know that’s what they would want for us.
And know that one day in our future,
We will again be rejoined,

easy…

Heart Broken

I reach out my hands desperate to touch love,
Finding only emptiness where you should be,
In a panic I jump up to search where you are,
Ever so slowly my memory begins to clear,

With remembrance returns my tormented soul,
Realization that you are truly gone, lost to me,
Death had scythed his cruel hands into my life,
I now live in a nightmare, tears ever unending,

Over and over I ask myself how can I go on,
So much angriness that you have been seized,
I’ve lost my faith, no room for an uncaring God,
I know I need you back, I need you holding me,

And thusly this has been my life too long a time,
Tell me what to do to put meaning to my sadness,
I beg give me a sign to help me one more instance,
Demonstrate erstwhile that our love still thrives,

A small voice asks me if we may talk for a while,
They offer a cognition creating a depth of thought,
A realization of simple truths concealed by my grief,
Clarity that presents a reason to find purpose, hope,

They remind me that you are not really lost to me,
Unseen you are still right here, still embracing me,
Your love is not gone but grown with wonder, joy,
Each of my days are now with your arms enfolding,

Your greatest want is to see me blissful, glad ere more,
To firmly grasp my life again, to treasure each second,
For the gifts you brought me, I owe you this and more,
The wonders with which you fill me, make me alive,

And they share with me even more truthful a vision,
For this is not an end, for at some little time reunion,
And reunited our love shall light the all of existence,
A newest star lighting the heavens, lasts for all time,

And another reminder, for sadly perhaps, we do not ‘get over’ our grief at losing loved ones. But we do learn to live a new life, with our grief. We can and should be happy, going on forward once more while being honest and true to our caring and loving natures. Not a betrayal but more in honoring those having gone on before us, Can we do any less for the love they share with us?

Namaste and blessings,

easy… 11/25/2014

Hear the Silent Steps

He comes, with soft gentle steps, slipping through the shadows,
Each and every cherished second, every moment, and every day,
Throughout the nights he comes to guard over you, his one love,
Listen to the silent whispers drifting on the winds blowing gentle,

Many a song he sung for you, all for the love of his giving soul,
Yet none of the notes rang clear enough to ring out his true care,
You find him wafting and dancing between the trees in sunny April,
Spreading fragrant new flowers to brighten and bless his love’s path,
In the rainy gloom of July nights stopping the thunder to bring dawn,
Riding on chariots of wandering clouds he comes, comes ever more,
But he’s gone you say, I’m alone, only pain presses upon my heart,
And now you know he is never far, never out of reach, you are not alone,

And know too, it is for a glimpse of your golden smile that gives him joy,

easy…

He’s Really Gone

Because I lack the easy path to travel,
I’m left with only blunt stone that cuts,
Ever near the river to slip and fall into,
A pulling and sucking pain ere every step,
It once was such a wonderful full journey,
Each artful moment filled with love and joy,

We became so much as two bonded into one,
Yet far too soon came a chaotic evil wind,
A din like the able thunder of false gods,
Some have said he might b a trouble perhaps,
But was my trouble and therefore no trouble,
My love for him reached down to my very soul,

Loaded down with sickness terrible,
Yet being that we were not on some list,
Little aid was there for him grasp and find,
And we of faith did prayed with all our strength,
Yet there only silence with no answer heard in time,
And now I sit here now dead inside, all alone, all broken,

So much courage it took him to fight his battles,
But of that he had a mighty Army’s share and more,
Yet even through the worst as he suffered this horror,
It was like he loved me even me more and more,
His loving heart now lost for an eternity unrivalled,
Leaving my soul echoing as if an old steel drum,

Come back to me my beloved companion,
Return to your place here at against my side,
Lay again beside me in the late night shadows,
Scare all the demons into running from my bed,
So little do I ask of you, your return is my is all I need,
You must make my heart to heal, restore my soul to me…

easy…Nov, 12, 2014

Pardon and Forgiveness

I look into my heart and in being honest with myself about all of the people in my past who have harmed me in any way, and where there is still pain, I find that I did practice pardon and forgiveness to a fault, harming myself and those whom truly care the most about me the worst. Yet, I still believe this is the very foundation of spiritual awakening, and for me at least, a fundamental way of living…

A little about me...
A little about me…

“My Final Goodbye”

As I’ve told you often before, and I think you know
I’ve loved you more than life from the very first day
Thought that we would stay forever, together path shared
But the time has come for me to leave, returning home

Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes in sleep
I’ll tell you the secret I’ve held throughout my life
Its you that I have lived for, and for you I now must die
So I’ll Lay here with you, sharing this final goodbye

Hold me my love, draw me close
Listen intently to my heart, as I feel the beat of yours
Outside the world wages its wars, crushing all life
But here together we rest in peace and love,

As long as you know what comes
I Promise you our love will carry on
Until you also turn eternal and we are rejoined
Once more we are re joined as one
Sharing our love Eternal

Brush my respectful lips for one final time
And hold fast to the memories of a path well shared
Its you that I’ve lived for and for us both I now die
So I’ll lay here with you till that final goodbye

So do not grieve my passing
For I will be awaiting for you
And in that time in the future
Rejoined, together for true

I love you dear heart…

Cranky Old Woman

   When an old woman died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old woman’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this old woman, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet. Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too! PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM (originally written by Dave Griffith and adapted here to honour my 96 year old aunt) remembering the best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart!

Cranky Old Woman
What do you see nurses?
What do you see?
What are you thinking, when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food, and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ‘I do wish you’d just try!’
Who seems not to notice the things that you do.
And forever is losing a sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, a long day to fill.
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,
As I do what you bid, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten, with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of Sixteen, with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now, a lover she’ll meet.
A bride soon at Twenty, my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows, that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now, I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.
A woman of Thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other, with ties that will last.
At Forty, my young daughters have grown and are gone,
But my man is beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is now dead.
I look to dark future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing, young of their own.
And I think of the years, the love that I’ve known.
 I’m now an old woman, and nature is cruel.
It’s a jest to make old age, to look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor long gone.
There is now only a stone, where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass, a young woman still dwells,
And now and again, my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living, life over again.
I think of the years, all too few gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact, that nothing can last.
So open your eyes people, open and see.
Not a cranky old woman.
Look closer, see ME!!

Skein of my Time

I beg forgiveness of Thee,
You the only one I love,
The depth of this dark pit where my heart has fallen,
Gloomy world of leaden horizons,
Night swimming horror and blasphemy;

Frigid sun floating overhead six months,
The other six months mine own darkness covers all land;
It’s a land more bleak than the polar wastes
Neither beasts, nor streams, verdure, nor wood!

No horror in the world can surpass
The cold cruelty of this glacial sun
And the vast night which is like old Chaos;

I come to envy the lot of the lowest animals
Able to sink into stupid thoughtless sleep,
For so slowly does the skein of my time unwind!

Steve Whitacre September 4th 2010