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Heart Broken

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I reach out my hands desperate to touch love,
Finding only emptiness where you should be,
In a panic I jump up to search where you are,
Ever so slowly my memory begins to clear,

With remembrance returns my tormented soul,
Realization that you are truly gone, lost to me,
Death had scythed his cruel hands into my life,
I now live in a nightmare, tears ever unending,

Over and over I ask myself how can I go on,
So much angriness that you have been seized,
I’ve lost my faith, no room for an uncaring God,
I know I need you back, I need you holding me,

And thusly this has been my life too long a time,
Tell me what to do to put meaning to my sadness,
I beg give me a sign to help me one more instance,
Demonstrate erstwhile that our love still thrives,

A small voice asks me if we may talk for a while,
They offer a cognition creating a depth of thought,
A realization of simple truths concealed by my grief,
Clarity that presents a reason to find purpose, hope,

They remind me that you are not really lost to me,
Unseen you are still right here, still embracing me,
Your love is not gone but grown with wonder, joy,
Each of my days are now with your arms enfolding,

Your greatest want is to see me blissful, glad ere more,
To firmly grasp my life again, to treasure each second,
For the gifts you brought me, I owe you this and more,
The wonders with which you fill me, make me alive,

And they share with me even more truthful a vision,
For this is not an end, for at some little time reunion,
And reunited our love shall light the all of existence,
A newest star lighting the heavens, lasts for all time,

And another reminder, for sadly perhaps, we do not ‘get over’ our grief at losing loved ones. But we do learn to live a new life, with our grief. We can and should be happy, going on forward once more while being honest and true to our caring and loving natures. Not a betrayal but more in honoring those having gone on before us, Can we do any less for the love they share with us?

Namaste and blessings,

easy… 11/25/2014

Today, Lost Alone

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The agony consumes me, too much pain,
Must hide my light within out of sight,
So frighten of being discovered now,
An outside world of darkest oppression,
I flee from their “light is a threat” mentality,
Avoiding being corrupted, loosing myself,
I must be true to myself, hold to my morality,
Sadly, I travel a lonely path, in pain, despair,
I’m lost in a nightmare, the uncaring now rule,
A ‘leadership’ based on ego, power and control,
My small voice a chiding threat to them, squelched,
Their fear presides over our lives, all ghettos,
I once had visions of unity, a family in unity,
All lost now to the darkest of realities, truths,
Fear and disillusionment is their ‘God’, their faith,
Oh to have some hope again, to see the sun rise,

                                                                                                       easy…

 

False Happiness

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I lie, I plant a smile on my face,
No-one can know, I must hide it,
It’s so hard to keep it covered, up,

I hurt so much holding it in,
If only I had someone, anyone,
Just to listen, to hear, to understand,
To be able to tell them, share with them,

Oh how I know it would really help,
But I have no-one, I’m left all alone,
Not a soul cares, none reaching out,
The lack a friend brings even more pain,

If only, if only, someone, please, help,
I once had dreams, now all lost to the pain,
I saw better things, happy times, love,
All hope now lost, so I hide, dead inside.

                                                                                                   easy…

Life Ebbs

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Much as an old clock slowing, winding down for the last time,
Spring broken, winder lost, is it two o’clock now or five?
Monday, Saturday, or perhaps a lost day already gone by,
I can’t tell any more, seems all my caring has gone for good,
I have fallen through too many years, I fear never to come back,
The hands of time have  kept turning, but I am stuck right here,
Can there be anything to help me find myself, make it as it was,
Back before age overrun me, overtook my youthful free being,
In misty cobwebbed memories, an ever dimming view of what I was,
Is it too late, it seems over before it began, so tired, so lost, so ended,
The fates lay on their cold dry hands, pulling at my soul. dragging,
I slow, all resistance failing, to battle on is a meaningless exercise,
Wandering around in a dazed confusion, helpless, need to start over,
Sands of time running out weakly, a muddled riot of unfulfilled dreams,
Completely befuddled, visions come, sight clears, something new,
Stepping outside of time, I see again the wondrous vision of the tree of life,
Limbs showing futures yet to come, new paths going forward, beginnings,
Even as I watch I see the newest of life budding forth as new leaves,
Old leaves in death falling back to the source of sustenance, the start of all,
The dense haze returns yet cannot hide this, the brightest yet of my visions,
No longer do I feel the need to look for answers, no rhymes or riddles dire,
Time is now meaningless, I cannot remember why it ever had importance,
Tis’ the late fall of my journey, with summer at an end, winter nigh,
I now have peace, for I feel the contentment to come, the harmony, the love,
I rejoice in my soon coming reunion with those so missed, to be joined again,
For now, I know I am but one of the falling leaves from the great tree,
I’m going back to my home, young once more, my newest path before me,
I am content and happy, looking forward to all my new tomorrows,

                                                                                                                      easy…

SunLight

Home At Last

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I crave the silent coming peace, the glittering ring of a water fall,
The gentle whisper of a last autumn leaf as it floats down to rest,
I move steadily towards the final place of balance, toward my destiny,
Kindly embraced, welcomed, loved, returned to my home at last…

easy…

Silence

Hear the Silent Steps

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He comes, with soft gentle steps, slipping through the shadows,
Each and every cherished second, every moment, and every day,
Throughout the nights he comes to guard over you, his one love,
Listen to the silent whispers drifting on the winds blowing gentle,

Many a song he sung for you, all for the love of his giving soul,
Yet none of the notes rang clear enough to ring out his true care,
You find him wafting and dancing between the trees in sunny April,
Spreading fragrant new flowers to brighten and bless his love’s path,
In the rainy gloom of July nights stopping the thunder to bring dawn,
Riding on chariots of wandering clouds he comes, comes ever more,
But he’s gone you say, I’m alone, only pain presses upon my heart,
And now you know he is never far, never out of reach, you are not alone,

And know too, it is for a glimpse of your golden smile that gives him joy,

easy…

Last Sonnet

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When I die, I want your hands in mine,
I desire the caress of your beloved hands,
One last moment sharing the love of my soul,
I need to feel the softness that changed my life,

I want you to truly live while I await you in the dream,
I want your ears to hear whispers of the wind,
To walk the seashore in the sands we loved together,
To continue to bask in the beauty that we shared,

I want what I love to continue to live in the magic,
For it is you whom I love and sang above all else,
Continue to flourish, full-flowered, fully embraced,

Teach the world everything sharing my love has given,
Let my shadow travel along in strands your flowing hair,
Let all truly know learn the reason for my happiness and song,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      easy…

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